singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
