just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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