pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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