im about as happy as oj after his trial
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
