Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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