I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
