On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
