Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
