I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
