Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
