Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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