My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
