There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
