as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
