so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
