Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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