All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
