Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
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