I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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