Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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