so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
