you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
