So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
