Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
