I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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