There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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