I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
