So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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