thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
