I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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