no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
