After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
