this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
