I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
