I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
