ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
