Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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