I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
