do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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