If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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