you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
