you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
