he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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