All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
