we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
