then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
