The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
