yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
