I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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