I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
