Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
