I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
