It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm always down for nudity.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
