tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
