Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
