I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
