My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
