Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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