Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
